Note for the facilitator:

Many traditional cultures try to protect young people from premature sexual experiences by making taboo virtually all discussion of sex and sexuality until marriage. The secrecy and embarrassment that come to be associated with sex often prompts them to find other ways of accessing the information they want. However, piecing together what they learn from movies, TV, print media, or clandestine discussion with their peers, seldom equips young men and women to deal with the pressures associated with their own sexuality, including the physical and emotional changes occurring within their own bodies and in their relationships with others: peers, family and adults. Girls in particular are likely to have low self-esteem with regard to their sexuality and helping young people to be comfortable talking openly and honestly about sex and sexuality can be critical in developing self-worth, mutual trust and negotiating skills.

Purpose: To enable participants to:

1. share and understand why people may not be comfortable talking about sex.


2. explore some of the reasons for the secrecy surrounding sex and the perception of sex as dirty or immoral.


3. examine why women in particular tend to have negative feelings about their own bodies and to deny or be unaware of their sexuality


4. consider the extent to which such attitudes may influence women’s judgement in sex-related matters.

Time: 1 to 1½ hours

Materials: Flip Chart paper, Markers

Procedure:

If participants are literate, write the following three questions on three different pieces of chart paper before the session starts and paste them all on the wall. If they are not literate, simply ask the questions.

Key Questions:

Recall the first time you heard the word "sex".

How old were you and how did you feel about discussing the subject?

Recall the first time you asked someone about sex and under what circumstances. How did this other person react to your question? Was your discussion in private or among others?

Have you ever seen yourself naked in front of a mirror? What were your feelings about your body?

Ask each participant to turn to the person on his/her right and discuss the above questions with each other for five minutes.

Then ask whoever volunteers to share their experience with the whole group. If no one is willing to speak out, ask each person to talk very briefly about their own or their partner’s experiences (with their consent!).

Encourage the group to share thoughts on any societal mores that inhibit discussion of sex and sexuality. They should focus on the similarities across their experiences: e.g., girls are told not to play with boys after the onset of menstruation; before marriage a girl is usually told that her husband would "know what to do"; and in schools, teachers, more often than not, skip the chapter on reproduction and ask students to study at home.

Facilitate a discussion on the following issues:

What sexual information do you feel you lacked as a child? As an adolescent? Today?

Why is it important to know that information?

Did you have access to that information?

Would you have felt differently about sex? About yourself?

What might you have done differently had you known before?

What sexual information do you still lack today?

Conclusion:

After participants have freely expressed their views, you may wish to provoke further reflection by offering some tentative ‘conclusions’ of your own, preferably in direct response to participants’ contributions and the themes which emerged in the discussion. For example, trainers may wish to emphasize that while sex is linked to procreation, it is not limited to it and potentially, sex can be a pleasurable experience for both partners. Women should be encouraged to recognize and respect themselves as sexual beings and overcome their reluctance to talk about their own sexuality.

Source: The Naz Foundation, New Delhi, India.